Concerts have always been something I enjoyed immensely.  Unfortunately, as my migraines got worse in my late 20s it was something I had to forego because I couldn’t control the lights or the music volume…

The best concerts I have ever been to are in fact two acts that while I love them, they are not in my top 5 all time favorites.  The first was Marilyn Manson in the 2000s.  He played a show at the Fabulous Fox Theatre, a play house known more for things like Phantom of the Opera and Grease than Marilyn Manson.

It was my first time seeing Manson as well as my first time seeing a concert at the Fabulous Fox.  I had seen a dozen or so plays there, but live music is totally different.  However, because it is a hot spot for musicals in St. Louis, the acoustics for Marilyn Manson were amazing.  He also puts on one hell of stage show and anyone who even slightly enjoys his music would not be let down attending one of his concerts.

The second best is kinda weird.  Rob Zombie just over the state line in Kansas.  I don’t remember the venue or even the town we were in, it was still close enough to Kansas City to be Kansas City in my brain.  What I do remember is while standing in line to get in, there was a severe storm warning.  I had seen Rob Zombie before and his stage show is also very good.  It’s hard to beat like Go-Go Dancers and Cage Dancers, all clothed with a bit of a psychedelic slide show on a projector playing behind Zombie.  On this particular night, he finished his set, went back stage and when he returned for the encore he made an announcement… He had finished up as they issued a tornado warning and we were not allowed to leave until it ended.  So he picked up his guitar and begin to play some more.  Not just his stuff, but staples of hard rock that I had been listening to since I was a kid.  It was amazing.  I don’t know how long he played, but he played the entire time we were stuck in the concert venue waiting out the tornado warning.  Most bands would have said screw it and hid in their dressing rooms.  The fact that Zombie came back out to play for us was awesome.

I thought of this because the other night, I listened to a song I hadn’t listened to in ages, and gagged about half way through because I suddenly thought of the live show I had seen.  The song was Blurry by Puddle of Mudd.  It is actually a great song, the problem with the concert was that we were close enough to see the lead singer, who had a cold or something, and was plugging one nostril and blowing out the other while he sang.  Holy crap.  I can’t even wipe my great nephew’s nose.  Sitting through the concert was revolting.  As much as I like Puddle of Mudd, I haven’t been able to listen to a song by them since that concert.

Now I have been to countless concerts in small venues where I was almost on the front row of the mosh pit, close enough I could spit on the band if I was so inclined… everyone from Type O Negative to KMFDM to Gogol Bordello.  That was the first time I had seen a singer or any band member do that.  Much like watching Manson at the Fabulous Fox, I love smaller venue concerts for slightly lesser known bands like KMFDM.  I can’t talk to them, good god, talk about someone getting star struck…  I’ve had ample opportunities to meet KMFDM and I always spaz out and try to find something to hide behind.  Because I am a total geek, just FYI.  However, music is one of my many passions.  Sadly, even though my migraines are much improved, my mosh pit days are long gone because I can’t imagine a mosh pit with CRPS.  The only good news is there are only 2 bands I would love to see that I didn’t before the end of my concert going.  They are on my bucket list though and one day, when I have better pain management, I hope to get those two bands off my list (Rammstein and U2).

A Celebrity’s Charity Case

So good news for the author that wanted a vacation using GoFundMe.  A celebrity read her book and liked it so much they gave the writer all the money they asked for plus extra for the vacation.

I love all my readers, but when I got the private message about her windfall, I must admit, I had a pang of jealousy, which is fairly out of character for me.

Netflix told me my books had potential, but that they weren’t really what they were looking for.  And getting any further with it would require me to sign over more rights to future books and write on their deadlines and do scripts and things and well, I’m not a script writer.  Ah well, obviously not to be.  Not because I don’t want to put in the work but because I got the impression that they were interested in the sense that it sounded promising but they were sure it would be an abject failure.  However, if I could find a celebrity to fall in love with my books, well I might have it made.

It would be awesome if Sascha Konietzko of KMFDM and his wife Lucia decided to narrate my audiobooks free of charge.  I would actually cry tears of joy.  I do love both of them and KMFDM has been one of my favorite bands for 2 decades, almost 3.  Plus, I love Germans.  Lucia could pull off Aislinn Cain’s narrative voice.  Sascha could do my male serial killers and characters.  Other band members could lead male voices as well, since it isn’t just Lucia and Sascha that make up KMFDM.  I’d even be okay with the German accent for all my male characters because I do love listening to Germans speak  in both English and German.

Hey, we might all make a little money and they have a sound studio in their house, so they could work on it from home.  Nothing sells books like a celebrity endorsement.  It doesn’t even have to be a famous writer.  A tweet from Clive Barker would melt my heart, but honestly, if Perez Hilton the fashion mogul liked my books, it would do a lot for book sales.  I’d be willing to sell half the audio rights for a celebrity to do the audiobooks.  Mostly because I think they would sell better than anything I have available at the moment and I get asked about audiobooks approximately five times a month.

Of course, the chances of my getting a celebrity benefactor are slim and none.  It’s a beautiful dream, but it has no chance of fruition.  I got lucky with the Tortured Dreams audiobook and I’m not going to get that lucky again.

However, if any of my readers have experience in a sound studio doing narration, I’d be willing to consider splitting the royalties of the audiobooks.  I’m too broke to actually pay you ahead of the production and sales though, which is a problem.  And we’ve calculated out the cost of producing Elysium Dreams into an audiobook at around 9,000 if I have to pay for it which is really far out of my price range right now and probably for a long time.  The bad part is, people like the Tortured Dreams audiobook as far as plot and story go, they just hate the narrator, which is a problem.

This leads me to believe that I need Amazon to be my benefactor or for a celebrity to love Aislinn Cain like I do and become my benefactor.  The chances of either are slim and none.  But that’s okay.  It was just a thought.  I don’t have expectations of it happening.

For me, it’s a pipe dream, but a lovely one.  And sometimes it’s good to have pipe dreams.




Meeting Mike

Last night, I was working when my best friend texted me a picture.  She’s at a conference in San Diego.  Last night, the company hired Aerosmith to preform and Mike Rowe (Dirty Jobs guy) is there as a keynote speaker.  The pic is of her and Mike Rowe.

My first thought was “I’m in the wrong line of work.”  My second was “I’m so jealous.”  My third was “Why?  You’re a spas, remember?  Even if you were there and he suggested you two take a picture together, you’d just slink away.”

Hmmm, that’s true.  I know from experience.  I have had the opportunity to meet Sascha Konietzko of KMFDM more than once and I never have.  As a matter of fact, when they were specifically sitting in a local record store, signing autographs, I panicked and sent my favorite CD with aforementioned best friend to the desk to get it autographed. That night, at the concert, he and wife Lucia, were in the audience while the opening band played.  My nephews & aforementioned best friend all went up and talked to them.  I attempted not to make eye contact with anyone even remotely close to the table where the group was.

I have a hard time meeting new people in general.  Meeting people I admire is kind of like having a personality blackout.  My brain screams Hide!! Maybe they won’t see you!  Um, yeah, that’s not weird at all.  It’s part of the reason I have never signed up to go to a writer’s conference, I might have the opportunity to meet a writer that I read.  It might cause a mental breakdown or something.

I’m excited she met Mr. Rowe.  She said he seemed really nice.  I am jealous, but I’m also kinda glad it wasn’t me.

The Soundtrack of My Life

For some bizarre reason that only the gods understand, music plays in my head constantly.  It is more annoying than a radio, but at least I didn’t need music to have music.

I say annoying because it is usually only one or two songs that play over and over in my head… all day… and into the night… then I wake up with new music playing in my head the next morning.

Monday it was Mortal Kombat the theme song, which is far less of a song than it is just people speaking lines from the film set to music.  This was followed Monday evening by Juke Joint Jezebel, no doubt because the KMFDM song was featured on the Mortal Kombat Soundtrack (as well as the techno music in Club Hell during the film Bad Boys).

Tuesday I woke up to Bed of Roses by Bon Jovi.  Not exactly great music for writing on a Strachan novel.  Brenna doesn’t have a sense of humor, not even a warped one and she’s terrified of sex.  Love songs by Bon Jovi are just not her style.  So, I ate a couple of donuts to get into Strachan mode.  By evening, the song had changed, but not the theme.  I found another love ballad, this one slightly odder, but still a love ballad: Without You by David Bowie from the movie Labyrinth.

Since the writing music in my head was not cooperating, I avoided working on Dark Legacies.  Instead I started working on the Daniels’ novella that I had been stuck on.  After all, love songs work for The Dysfunctional Chronicles.  I put 200 words on Dark Legacies and around 1000 on Dysfunctional Chronicles #4.  

So, I wake up this morning fully expecting love ballads to work on the Dysfunctional Chronicles.  No such luck, the song in my head today: The Final Countdown by Europe.  Um, not what I was expecting and I’m pretty sure that doesn’t apply to any of my current books.  Oh wait, yes it does… Elysium Dreams.  As it sits waiting to be released in ebook (the paperback has already released for some reason)… However, I can’t imagine life with Final Countdown stuck in my head for four days… I don’t even like the song very well.