Christmas Spirit My Ass


*This post is going to have swearing… sometimes heavily

I’m not huge on Christmas and I’ve never been sure why exactly, but I do admit, I’m a bit of a bah humbug. I don’t care about having a Christmas tree or Christmas decorations. I like picking out presents for people and giving them to them. However, these last two weeks, I have realized there is one thing I love about Christmas….

As I have busily made scarves for family and friends and challenged myself to expand to hats and extra large scarves, I have found myself happy while doing it. It turns out, I LOVE making Christmas gifts. I love picking out the colors, deciding on patterns, and making decisions about what kind of stitches I’m going to use for it. Making these 6…. then 8…. then 10… scarves has made me very happy and I was starting to get a touch of Christmas spirit.

Then I fucking went to Walmart on the afternoon of December 19th. We needed a few more stocking stuffers. Mom needed to print some pictures, so I went to the tiny craft section my local Walmart has. I found a couple specialty skeins of yarn on sale. Then I went to look for amigurumi eyes and other notions.

So I’m standing there and this nice man in his mid-50s or so asked NM(Nice Man): “Do you know anything about crafts?” Me: A little. I can crochet, knit, and make a little jewelry. But I’m not great at any of it.” NM: “I’ve asked 4 associates already, maybe you can help more than them. My daughter has this round thing that she weaves on or something. My wife told me to go get a few items for it. I found the yarn she wanted, but it says ‘Tie-Dye Yarn’ kit. I’m finding tie-dye shirt kits, but not yarn kits. Would those work?” Me: Uh, that I don’t know, but I’ve heard of kits to dye your own yarn. I’ll help you search these two aisles for one.”

NM and I are looking at all the dye kits, just standing there together, not blocking the aisle or taking up a ton of room. Suddenly, it felt like a freight train hit my right hip. It hit hard enough that I actually fell into the man next to me. Thank god, he reacted on instinct and grabbed onto me or I might have fallen. (Thank you nice man… I hope your daughter loves the kit you eventually picked out).

I whip around to face this woman. I’m expecting an apology or at least something. I said Me: “Most people say ‘excuse me’ when they want by. I have a disability and you have just caused a pain flare that I’m going to feel for days.” PGB (Psycho Granny Bitch): I did fucking say excuse me. NM: No, you didn’t. I was standing right here and you said nothing. And we weren’t blocking the aisle, do you want this particular section?” PGB: No, I want her to fucking move. NM: I’ll go get an associate. Me: Move where? Away from the dye kits? PGB: No, just fucking move bitch. I stepped closer to the display and she said “Stupid bitch.” And then just turned and fucking walked away.

Nice man comes back with associate. Associate is very young. NM and I explain what happened and the associate says “Did you get her name?” Me: “Uh, no.” Associate: “Oh, we could have paged her to the front desk. Do you need me to call an ambulance?” Me: No, I don’t need an ambulance. Associate: “Do you want to follow me to the back office, we can fill out an incident report and call the police it will probably take about an hour. Me: No, I don’t want to be here that long. I just want to go home.

In my head, I’m thinking we’re going to have search every fucking camera in this place to find this woman and other than being able to say she looks about 65 with frizzy grey hair and a pink shirt, I can’t give a great description of her. I was in too much shock to take a good inventory of what she looks like and if it wasn’t caught on camera… It’s my word against hers because I am not going to ask this complete stranger to hang around for at least an hour to file a police report and deal with this nonsense.

I did help the guy pick out a dye kit for his teen daughter and I do hope she likes it. The kit showed all sorts of clothing items on the back being dyed, including what appeared to a be a cardigan and an afghan. He and I spoke for a few minutes after the incident and neither of us could figure out why she decided to ram me with her cart. She didn’t seem to want to look at the dye kits and she could easily have walked behind us. It was as if she saw me and decided that all her anger at the world of Walmart needed to be taken out on me. And while I know that hip is sensitive to touch, I don’t normally get knocked sideways from an accidental bump with a cart. She had to put some effort into it.

And I lost my yarn in the chaos. I must have set it down somewhere and it was the last three skeins in that color that was 50% off (Mandala: color Cupid). Maybe that was her intent?

At any rate, as I sit at my computer, resting my hip, trying to get the worst of the pain to pass…. I have lost what little Christmas Spirit I had managed to gather together. People suck….

And then as I waited on dinner, it dawned on me… Some old lady beat me up in Walmart to steal my yarn! WTF!

2 thoughts on “Christmas Spirit My Ass

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