I have a blog post in the works about hybristophilia. Which is the sexual attraction and arousal of someone to someone who has committed violent crimes such as rape and murder. And it got me thinking about the hundreds, if not thousands, of pen pals that serial killers get. I’m of the mindset that becoming pen pals with a serial killer is a really, really terrible idea.
In the past, I’ve done blog posts about not being a good victim. And it seems to me that writing letters to a serial killer is basically volunteering to be a victim of some sort. For security reasons, when you write a letter to a convict, you have to use your address. You can’t use a PO Box. This means the killer you’re writing knows your address.
Everyone’s argument about this is “well, it’s not like they will ever be released from prison.” That’s probably true. But that doesn’t mean they won’t escape. It happens more than any Department of Corrections likes to admit. Furthermore, even if they don’t kill you, there are lots of ways for a serial killer to victimize you. While not every sociopath and psychopath is a serial killer, all serial killers are psychopaths.
People with ASPD (sociopathic/psychopathic tendencies) revel in mind games and psychological torture. In many ways, this is more enjoyable than physical torture, even for serial killers. And I’ve heard of one case where a killer set up a pen pal to be raped by an inmate that got out of prison. Why? Because the killer could leverage the information to get more privileges. In other words, he specifically gave the pen pals address to a known rapist who then raped the pen pal when he got out of prison and then when police started to investigate the killer was like “Oh, he saw her picture one day when she wrote me a letter and said he wanted a piece of her. I bet he stole her address from one of the letters she sent me. I’ll tell all at the trial if you get me an extra hour of yard time every week.” Or whatever it is that they leverage when they are serving life sentences.
And no matter what romance novels you read in which good girls reform really bad boys, that doesn’t happen when the bad boy is a psychopath. They are incapable of making deep meaningful connections with other people. They are never going to care for you enough to stop you from being hurt. Relationships like Hannibal Lecter and Clarice had only happen in books and movies. In real life, the killer plays mind games and may send someone to your house, since they can’t visit themselves.
As such, I just recommend not writing to them. I can assure you, it won’t go well for you. They are the literal wolf in sheep’s clothing… They may talk pretty and say all the right things, seem educated, and devoted to you, but in their heart’s, you only matter for what you can do for them. And they will find ways to hurt you emotionally and psychological, if they can’t do it physically.