Addiction & Daily Life


I’m the daughter of an alcoholic. I also have a neurological disease that requires me to use daily pain medication to have any quality of life. Those two things are incompatible. I’ve talked about the side effects of Complex Regional Pain syndrome ad nauseum. But I don’t think I’ve ever talked about those two statements together and how much they can screw up my brain and derail me.

Since the 1980s, I’ve been aware that addiction is a disease and is hereditary. The rest of the world obviously has some catching up to do, because it wasn’t until 2019 (maybe 2018, I don’t remember exactly) that addiction was officially classified as a disease (no different than diabetes) and announced to be hereditary.

My father is nearing 40 years of sobriety. Alcoholism nearly put him in a very early grave and it wasn’t just the booze. I did not develop a taste for alcohol. I’ll have a drink once in a while, but I can count the number of times I’ve been drunk in my life. And my father’s sobriety kept me from experimenting with drugs when I was a teen. I didn’t want to be addicted to a substance like MDMA or cocaine or oxycodone. And I knew I was at risk, because my father is an addict.

As a result of the two statements that opened this blog post, about every 6 months, I go through an existential crisis. Sometimes, it lasts a few days, sometimes a few weeks. During them, I question everything I do, everything I feel, and everything I think. It’s hard to stop that spiral of questioning and it sends me into a funk.

Outside reassurances that I don’t behave like an addict don’t help end it. It’s something I have to prove to myself. Proving to yourself that your dependency on pain medication is for quality of life is a bit difficult. But it’s the only way for me to get past it.

4 thoughts on “Addiction & Daily Life

  1. My father was also an alcoholic until he was in his seventies. I too grew up knowing it was hereditary. I was born with undiagnosed hip dysplasia and spent most of my childhood in a children’s state hospital for crippled children. Surgeries, full body casts, braces, traction, wheelchairs and crutches were part of everyday life. Now at age sixty I have had Five hip replacements and a knee replacement, have deteriorating discs, rheumatoid arthritis, and chronic pain and depression. I do not drink and have never used illegal drugs. Knowing about addiction I try to be careful about my drug usage but, like Aslinn, when the pain is overwhelming I raid the cabinet with the attitude of it will cure me or kill me and I don’t give a damn anymore. I use reading as a helpful tool to get my mind to a different place so please keep writing, your books have become my favorite go to books when I just need a friend. And a PS about editing, for a free book I would gladly become a free proofreader for you. I have no degree but I guarantee I am capable of being quite umm…diligent with picking up and picking apart errors and inconsistencies when reading. I worked in Human Resources and I was appalled at all the errors contained in a simple two page resume.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Isn’t much of your pain in your hip? The dysplasia may have been a contributing factor. My hip dysplasia was the contributing factor to lumbar spinal disc deterioration, then knee displacement and on to cervical spine neuritis and rheumatoid arthritis. Not that it changes your present condition but your problems may be of longer duration then you realise. I may only be sixty but I always figure I’m really 120 years old by the way I feel.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes. I did develop some very mild arthritis in that hip in my teens and that seems to be a contributing factor to the CRPS showing up there. And spreading to the other. But it was very mild arthritis, so I consider myself somewhat lucky, I went 36 years without a real problem in them.

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