I know the last 18 months has sucked. Thank you for sticking with me, while listening to me whine, vent my anger, and complain. In my darkest hours, you all helped raise me out of despair.
I still mourn and I still have triggering events. But they are getting better and part of it is you. The thing I think that helped me the most, was your repeated assurances that you were still there and still willing to buy the next book.
Especially, when doctors told me “Give up on it, you will not be able to pursue your career as a writer any longer.” I understood their reasoning, but I didn’t want to give that part of me up. 94% of people with CRPS in a lower limb, are on disability. And 91% of people with it in an arm or other area are on disability. But surely, I’d been writing with it in my arms, I could continue, right?
I admit that to put words on paper requires painkillers, opiates, to be exact. Just enough relief to clear some of the fog from my brain. And then one day my writing mentor said something to me that made me snort with laughter “Well, most authors prefer to write stoned or drunk, look at King and Hemingway. I don’t see opiates for pain relief as an impediment to your writing. It might be a help, not a hindrance. “
As I’ve watched pre-orders for Ritual Dreams climb, I’ve been rejuvenated, energized, and it’s provided confirmation that those well wishes weren’t just empty words. Ritual Dreams has more pre-orders as of March 6th than any of my other books and it has more pre-orders than any two of my previous books added together.
Writing was always cathartic for me. It was my escape from anger, sadness, stress, and pain. I can remember lying in bed with my head pounding, pillow over my face and composing verses in my brain, trying to battle the supremacy of a migraine.
You have helped me keep my sanity. Your well wishes brightening even my darkest days. And I admit on a few days, the demand for the next book reminded me that I couldn’t quit, I couldn’t give in, I couldn’t end it, no matter how much I wanted to, because I had readers that were waiting with bated breath for the next book.
For that, I thank you. And I am grateful you still pay attention to me and my books. HJ