When J and I got married a couple of years ago, a lot of people told me we were going to regret the decisions we made for our wedding. Recently, I was asked if my regret was the reason I didn’t have my private Facebook page filled with wedding pictures.
I don’t regret anything we did for our wedding. I don’t share the pictures because it’s been over a year and I’m fairly sure the majority of them were shared in the month or six that followed it. I see no reason to repost them now.
There is a moral to this story, so bear with me. Our wedding was small, maybe 40 people… We didn’t want anything terribly formal or fancy. J wore a button up shirt and tie and I was fairly amazed that he’d done either of these things along with agreeing to wear slacks instead of jeans. Contrary to the repeated proclamations of my Matron of Honor, my dress was white. It wasn’t a wedding dress in the traditional sense however. It was a knee length bridesmaid’s dress and the “color” on the tag said “off white.”
But even I could tell it was “white” not “off white.” We got married in my best friend’s garage. She also happens to be one of the many first cousins I have. Nearly the entire wedding party was made up of my family, which was kind of weird, but, you know. I didn’t have bridesmaids, I had a Matron of Honor (my cousin who is married) and a Maid of Honor (my cousin who isn’t married).
J had his best friend stand up as his best man and then had his other close friend, who is the husband of the Matron of Honor was his groomsman. Which is how, even though there were only 6 members in our wedding party, I was related to 3 of them (50%). Four by the time we finished.
Nearly all of J and I’s mutual friends are dart players. We catered food in a non-traditional way. J’s brother does catering gigs. We have a friend in darts who owns a restaurant. So we worked with the two of them to take care of food.
The place we held the reception has an occupancy limit of 225 people. Plenty of room. Except there wasn’t. If I had to guess, I’d say we had more than three hundred guests show up to the reception over the course of the evening (we had a “set” time, but it was basically show up at or after the set time).
We had a DJ and we had a blind draw (doubles matches with a partner drawn up at random). And we had a blast. We also nearly screwed up…
We had ordered 350 cupcakes. There were 14 left at the end of the night and if J and I hadn’t ordered a “mini cake” for the two of us, we have had to make do with the vanilla cupcakes, because of the 4 flavors we picked, that was the only one left. Cupcakes just seemed easier than cutting and serving a wedding cake. Plus, we had variety so if someone didn’t want vanilla or chocolate, they could pick something else. J and I got red velvet for the mini-cake and ate it the following week. It was really good (no, we didn’t save it for… the one year anniversary?).
We actually got married really cheap.
At the time of planning, several people told me I was going to have regrets that I didn’t do something more formal and that I didn’t force J to wear a tux. And that I was related to half the wedding party.
I have a single regret from my wedding. One of the kids I claim as a nephew did not get into the picture we specifically took with our nieces and nephews. That’s it. That is my only regret. I didn’t notice it until a few days later.
I’ve watched people go into debt paying for their weddings, demanding the entire shebang be perfect. But here’s the thing, it is going to be memorable regardless of whether you spend $500 or $50,000. And I don’t believe you get married for the wedding. Or even the reception. I certainly didn’t. Our wedding was done for our families. Our reception was because we had an excuse for a party on a Saturday night with some of our favorite people.
However, we got married because J and I decided it was time to get that legally binding piece of paper. Just something to remember when getting married.