Blue Monday

I didn’t mean to sound depressed or anxious on Monday, it was mostly just a stress response to not sleeping and being sick.  I’ve only had the flu one other time and it was Influenza A.  Despite having spent several years working in health departments, I didn’t realize Influenza A and Influenza B strains could have such different symptoms.

Mostly, I was exhausted.  I was told that it isn’t totally uncommon to feel like you might faint with a severe cold or influenza when doing things that take exertion, even simple things like standing up, it’s just not a symptom I had ever experienced before.  Yes, I have been exhausted before, but this was just ridiculously awful.

My doctor said it coming on top of such a bad allergy season, which it has been, exacerbated my sinus symptoms, including the headache, weakness, dizziness, and sleeplessness.  Which I didn’t realize was a symptom of sinus congestion, not really.  I mean I have always known that congested sinuses make it hard to sleep, I just didn’t realize it could lead to full out insomnia.

My official diagnosis is “holy shit, it’s fall, and I had surgery during allergy season.”  When I didn’t feel better at the 5 day mark, my doctor amended my diagnosis to that, because in the two weeks prior, I’d had surgery that was taking a while to heal, as expected, flu, allergy season revved up a notch with ragweed pollination, and stress of a book release and just general life stresses, because life continues, regardless of being sick… Like my husband’s work changes insurance every November, which means I get to pay my deductible twice every year, which is hard on the pocket book and we were changing providers entirely and I was concerned about having to search for a different doctor yet again if mine wasn’t part of the network…

So, stress and life and my body essentially conspired to make me miserable enough for me to wax poetic at 6 in the morning, when I should have been sleeping.  Basically, I’m not anymore depressed than anyone else with a cold/flu virus and allergy problems, because yay, outside! Oh and the pall of jury duty hanging over them.  I’ve already served twice in the 20 years since I turned 18… I’m all about a jury of peers and whatnot, but realistically, I think once per decade is a bit much when I know people who have never had to serve.

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