And Sometimes It’s the Wait Staff


I talked about why I hated being a waitress.  I get that one bad table on a busy day can ruin it if you are a waitress, but I also hate bad service when I’m the patron.  I’m not talking about a waitress who forgets ketchup, I’m talking about seriously bad service.

In my early 20s, my parents and I went to see my grandparents in another town about 3 and a half hours from us.  It was an overnight trip we got up in the morning and met my grandparents for breakfast.  My mom and I are both milk drinkers.  My mom always drinks milk with her meals, it doesn’t matter if we are at home or out to eat, mom orders a glass of milk.  Sometimes she’ll get a funny look because she’s an adult ordering a glass of milk with her meal, but normally that’s it.

My grandparents wanted to show off the place they almost always got breakfast from, even my grandfather went, which was amazing, because he didn’t like to eat out.  The place is packed.  We stood waiting for 30 minutes for a table and it’s a small town, so it seemed most of the town was there for breakfast.  The hostess gave us menus to look at while we waited.  Meaning when we got seated we were ready to order.  I ordered bacon, crispy, and waffles with mixed berries.  And a glass of milk.

Mom orders and also asks for milk.  The waitress tells us they don’t have adult sized milks and that she will bring us a kids milk if we want.  I almost never drink a full glass of anything while I eat, so a kids size is fine.  Mom also agrees to the kids size.

My grandparents get coffee, my dad got a soda.  The coffees and soda arrive, but not the milks.  We eventually flag down another waitress because ours is blatantly ignoring us.  We tell her about our milk not arriving, she goes into the back and here comes our waitress carrying those little bitty water cups that you would get from somewhere like Taco Bell with chocolate milk in them.  Um, no.  I don’t like chocolate milk.  I had specifically told her white milk.  She sets my milk down and I remind her I specifically asked for white milk, I don’t want chocolate milk, I don’t like chocolate milk.  She tells me this is the kids milk that I had agreed to.  I tell her I don’t care about the size, I only care about the fact that it’s chocolate and that I don’t want chocolate milk.

While I am arguing with her, I see a waitress bring a large glass of milk to a different table.  It is white milk and it’s the same size glass as the soda.  I point this out to her.  She sets down mom’s milk, but to do so, she reaches over me spilling the chocolate milk I didn’t want all over me.

She doesn’t offer me napkins, she heads into the kitchen.  As I am trying to dry off with my single napkin the manager comes out to ask why I threw milk at the waitress.  What the fuck?!  My grandparents jump in, like I said it’s not a huge town, they know the manager.  My grandfather tells her what really happened and complains about the glasses she brought the milk in and how it is ridiculous for a breakfast restaurant to not have milk glasses for adults and why did the other table get a real milk glass while we got these crappy plastic disposable cups.

The manager apologizes and disappears.  We have now been seated for an hour and haven’t gotten any food.  I just want to get out of my clothes because spilled milk has a smell when it dries and it chocolate milk gets sticky.  Plus, I’m in my Sunday best.  So I want to get the freaking chocolate out of my dress.

Our waitress comes back out with two large glasses of milk.  Both still chocolate.  I point this out to her and she tells me they don’t have white milk.  Um, look, I can see the chocolate syrup in the bottom of the glass, it started out white.  And where is our food?  Eventually a different waitress brings me milk, white milk.

All our food orders are wrong.  My waffle is covered in maple syrup.  I have a lemon on the side of my plate and I haven’t a clue why.  My bacon was practically raw.  It wasn’t even warm to the touch.  The other waitress is working the table right next to us, so I know we are on the dividing line of sections, I get her attention, point to my plate and ask her to please fix it because our waitress won’t come to our table.

She goes and gets the manager instead and there is a huge fight.  The other waitress is pointing to our plates and telling the manager that our waitress is always doing this stuff, turns out she doesn’t like to serve tables with elderly people at them because she says they don’t tip well enough.  WTF?!  I was a waitress and I usually loved the older people that came in, especially the men, because they’d come in and drink coffee for an hour and as long as I kept their cups full, I could make a $5 tip off a $1.50 check.

The manager tells the other waitress to take us over, but I’m just done.  I have chocolate syrup on my dress and I really need to get it soaking in water so it doesn’t stain and I don’t even want to eat anymore.  My grandfather gives the new waitress a $10 tip and tells her to hunt down our check we’ll just go somewhere else.

We get the bill, the other waitress apologizing profusely, we tell her it isn’t her fault.  She obviously feels bad.  She starts putting things into the register and we hear her say “oh no.”  Well that’s not good.  Our bill for 5 was over $100 at a little breakfast dinner where the most expensive meal was steak and eggs at $8.99.  She asks us to hold on and goes to the back.  The manager comes out and just zeros out our ticket.  Apologizes again.  Then offers us a gift certificate to make up for it.  My grandfather just looks at her, and then tears into her about how we had traveled for blah blah and now our breakfast was ruined and possibly my dress, and a gift certificate isn’t going to make up for it.

My dress was ruined by the chocolate, nothing mom and I tried got the stain out.  Worst waitress ever in my opinion.  I get that shit happens and sometimes orders come out wrong, usually it’s because during busy times, cooks just expect to see certain things and don’t realize there are special changes to the items.  And everyone makes mistakes, normally when my food is wrong, I just go with it.  No need to hassle anyone over a sandwich that was supposed to not have tomato and does, I can pick it off.  However, you can’t drain maple syrup from a waffle and maple syrup tends to give me a stomach ache, just like chocolate milk.  My stomach can’t handle sweets first thing in the morning, I have to have food in it before I can even consider chocolate, any type of syrup, or even donuts.  Although, even with food, maple syrup gives me a stomach ache, so I don’t eat it.

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