Brilliant or Stupid – The Jury Is Still Out


During the weekend we spent at a dart tournament, I watched an infomercial for a product and I can’t decide if it is brilliant or ridiculous.  I feel it could go either way based on who you are.

Let me reveal a bit about myself so that my fence sitting makes sense.  I am a 38 year old woman with adult acne and all cleansing products make it worse.  I have tried them all, even Proactive, with terrible results.  Adult hormone related acne is common in women with poly cystic ovarian syndrome and my doctor told me to just stop trying to treat it with more than soap and water because it wouldn’t help.

J, my husband, likes to sleep with the TV on.  Normally once he’s snoring, I flip it to true crime and watch that until my meds kick in and I fall asleep, with an eye mask to block out the light.  However, this means once in a while, I get to watch an infomercial.

The product is called Derma Suction.  It is a vacuum cleaner for your pimples.  My initial reaction was “Holy shit, we are now creating vacuum cleaners for our face, seriously?”

My second thought was “do I need this?”  If I vacuumed the dirt out of my pores instead of just washing them with soap and water, would it counter balance the role my funky and confused hormones play in my adult acne?

Now, the logical part of my brain says a vacuum, even one for the face to remove pimples is not going to counter act hormones and all I’ll really be doing is risking face hickeys from a vacuum cleaner.

The illogical part of my brain, the one that squeaks up when I have to look at a pimple on my face says maybe we should try it?

I have no idea how much a face vacuum costs and I believe even if I did the logical part of my brain would slap the crap out of me for even considering spending money on it…

But I have to admit, I am intrigued by the premise.  And does it work on sebaceous cysts, because I keep one behind my right ear and no amount of soap and water removes it.  We’ve discussed cutting it open and removing the core, but they did that to one on my face and missed part of the core… now I get to monitor that spot for signs that it needs to be opened and removed again, leaving yet another small scar by my eye.

The point is, with this vacuum is it possible that when you get a pimple, if you run the vacuum over it, does it remove the build up, thereby shrinking the pimple in a matter of hours instead of days like soap and water?

If so, this could be a brilliant invention.  Of course, even if it does work miracles, I still have to wonder about humanity… we are so obsessed with the pursuit of beauty that we are now willing to vacuum our faces.  I feel that says something about us as a species and I’m not sure it’s positive.

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