Storms and Unmedicated

I have a few major phobias, one is sleep which is tricky and the other is wind.  I am terrified by wind.

Monday night we had our first big storm since I began non-treatment of my anxiety disorder.  I was just getting settled into bed around 1 am when my phone gave me a weather alert.  Significant weather; hail up to an inch around, severe thunderstorms and the kicker… wind gusts up to 60 miles an hour.  It wasn’t just an alert, it was a warning and then I heard the wind blow hard enough to scoot something across the metal patio table outdoors and even without the rain, lightening, thunder, or the big gusts, I knew I was in for a long night.

I think I made it twenty minutes before I headed downstairs to my computer which currently resides in my basement and decided to wait out the storm because there was no way I was going to sleep through those wind gusts.

I am not afraid of any other features of thunder storms.  I may not find the sound of rain terribly soothing, but neither it nor lightening scares me.  Just the wind.

I’m not sure exactly when I developed a phobia of wind, because I haven’t always been afraid of it.  I have always been afraid of tornadoes, that just makes good sense.  However, wind is a different story.  On it’s own, wind is a good thing.  It’s weird to be afraid of it.  I am aware of that.

There is nothing I can do about it.  I wish I could, but I just can’t.  I have to just go with it most of the time.

And so I wait for the wind to die down so I can go back to bed and maybe get a little sleep.


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