Demonic Dreams

According to my writing program, if I continue at the rate I’m going, I’ll have finished writing Demonic Dreams, meaning I’ll have hit my word goal of 75,000 words by mid-March.  Usually it takes me 70,000 words to tell a D&R story, which is why I set every book length at 75,000.

Sometimes, like Fortified Dreams and Elysium Dreams, it takes longer.  Sometimes, like Summoned Dreams, it takes a little less, I think it clocks in at a mere 65,000 words.  However, Belladonna Dreams is the shortest at just 62,000 words, mostly because I really wanted to kill the serial killer and had to wait… for Fortified Dreams to do that.

Meaning I still don’t have a firm release date for Demonic Dreams, but it is getting closer.  In January when I started with rewrite 9,000,000 million or whatever it was, the first week it told me I would finish in April at the rate I was writing.

When I started this rewrite, I have no idea what draft it is, three or four maybe?  Which isn’t exactly correct because that doesn’t take into account all the reworked material, rewritten material, and just plain deleted material, I suspected it would still be April or May before it was ready for publication and that depended significantly on my pain management.

Completion still does.  However, I am finding the hydrocodone much more effective at 3 pills a day and without the clonazepam.  As long as I keep my soda intake down, I’m finding I can manage my anxiety with a Benadryl.  I’m taking them at night since I have sleep anxiety worse than anything else.

Today, I have already drank an extra Mountain Dew that I absolutely shouldn’t have and i can feel it.  I’ve had 2 cans of it.  I’m feeling a little jittery and anxious as a result.  Last week, I could have drank 2 cans in the morning and still taken a nap that afternoon.  Which means I can feel and see the effects of not drinking as much caffeine and sugar.

I talked to my nutritionist as well as a health consultant about going gluten and carb free and we decided that was probably a bad idea.  The fitness guru thought part of my weight might be because I don’t eat enough food calories in a day, meaning my body is constantly in starvation mode to be exact.  I already don’t eat much meat and live on a ton of vegetables, because I’m not allergic to many vegetables but I am allergic to most meat.

When I brought this up to my nutritionist she agreed.  She said for me, going carb and gluten free didn’t make sense because we know I’m not allergic to gluten and I’m already struggling with getting enough food calories, good food calories, in my diet every day.  She also pointed out that she had been telling me this for years…  Guess I just needed to hear it from a second person.

Today, I had a slice of pizza at lunch.  Last night’s dinner was far better and well rounded, but I can’t eat steak every night.  It’s expensive and I am allergic to beef, even if it is only a mild allergy.  I prefer beef to pork and I am allergic to both and I don’t eat any ground meats, so hamburger isn’t on the list of things I’m going to eat every night.  Of course, Saturday night, the husband and I had a buffet… I ate a huge helping of salad, two helpings of green beans, a helping of corn, a helping of mixed vegetable medley, and a decent portion of broccoli, I don’t actually like potatoes very well. I tried to eat a ribeye, but it was very chewy and not very good, also a little fattier than normal and I have this thing about meat quality… I would make a terrible cannibal, just saying.

I would also make a terrible vegetarian and be terrible at paleo.  So I’m cutting back on sugar.  This is easier for me to do than food items, like carbs.  I prefer salty snacks, like potato chips – about the only way I like potatoes really – nuts, granola bars, that sort of thing over sweet snacks.  I’m much happier with trail mix than a cupcake in other words.  Most of my sugar comes from soda, the occasional Gatorade, and milk, because I do love milk.. even if I am slightly allergic to it.  Until I was in my twenties and working 60 hours a week, I didn’t drink much soda.  I drank milk at home or when I ate out.  Then they told me it didn’t matter what I did, I wasn’t going to save my teeth, they wanted to pull them all when I was 17 and my vanity wouldn’t let them.  It’s one of the few things I regret surprisingly.  What the hell was the point of this post?

Oh, so my editor may get Demonic Dreams in March.

It may release in late March.  I’m not guaranteeing it, but maybe.  I’m hopeful about it, which would be amazing and much better than where I was in December and January with it.  I’m not going to set it up for pre-orders.  I’ll send out a notice in my newsletter as well as on my blog and on social media whenever it gets ready.  Until then, I’ll keep you guys up to date on progress with my blog.

I am forcing myself to learn not to burn the candle at both ends too, which is hard.  I want to work, but I must also adjust to the realization that I can’t work 70 hours every week and be okay as a person, mentally or physically.

Of course, I may also have a surgery somewhere in March, so that may also affect the release dates, which is why I refuse to give a firm date for it and then have it come and go like it has the last two times I’ve tried to set a release date for it.


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