This past month with the cold from Hell and all the pain that came with it and unplugging from social media has made me realize that I haven’t been listening very closely to what my body has been telling me for a couple of years now.
So I’m going to be writing and I’m going to see my new specialist on the 1st of February and I’m going to put things in the mail. I’m going to work with my editor. But for the rest of the month of January I’m staying unplugged from social media.
I know I have lots of messages and lots of comments, but for the first time since I started my writing career I’m going to focus on me. This month has sorta snowballed out of control. There was pain and the Cold that was killing me and then today as I was started to really feel better, I chipped what might be the only living tooth I have so now I have a toothache.
At that point I realized that all these calamities and disasters and viruses and things they keep happening because my body can’t get my attention. It needs a break. Not from writing, it needs to write, it misses that, but what it doesn’t need is the stress of social media. Trying to respond to comments and messages all the time and keeping up with everything that is going on and trying to dodge questions about when Demonic Dreams is going to release…
I’m going to work on Demonic Dreams because it needs special attention. Maybe if the new specialist helps me out, I’ll be ready to release it in March.
And I know the majority of the comments are wishing me better health and praying for me and letting me know everyone cares and I appreciate them so much, but I just need to step back for a few more days and focus on me and trying to get started on something that should be great by the time it’s finished. I hate releasing a book I consider subpar. So far, only Tortured Dreams falls into that category, but I’d hate to do it a second time.
However, if I don’t take a little more time to focus on me, then Demonic Dreams is liable to be shitty and that would be unfair to my readers as well as the characters. I’ve been working on some stretch exercises with my hands and hips to lower the muscle spasms, so far they haven’t worked, but I have hope for the future. It doesn’t take away my pain, it makes it a whole lot worse, but that’s okay too.
Maybe that will help me reach a point where even when I’m comfortable and not writhing in my own skin in pain then I won’t fear the pain as much when the meds wear off.
Plus, I am mentally all over the place. I’m dealing with guilt and shame and fear and worry and stress and none of that is good for me or for my readers or my family quite frankly.