What if you woke up one day and realized your entire extended family was crazy. Not just different. Not just odd. But certifiably crazy. Like probably needed therapy and an asylum?
Would you question your own sanity? Would you wonder if it was really them or if it was actually you? I mean, do crazy people know their crazy? And is the standard really the same for everyone?
I mean, I’m a writer. I have fictional people in my head. And while I know they are just characters, they talk to me. And I care about them like they are real people. That sounds fairly crazy.
Honestly? If someone you didn’t know very well said there are about 40 different people in my head talking to me, would you want to sit next to them on the bench or on the bus? Would you worry about what the voices were saying to them?
Am I crazy or just imaginative?
It’s a hard question to answer. Most would say imaginative. But only if they have seen the results of all those fictional people roaming around in my brain talking to me.
To most people, who know me, personally, Aislinn and Nadine both look like me. That makes sense to them. But not me. Because in my head they don’t look like me. We might have a few of the same traits, brown hair, brown eyes, but that’s because that’s my experience with the world, I have brown hair and brown eyes. However, that is where the similarities begin and end for me. When Aislinn and Nadine came into being in my brain, my brain used some of my bias to create them, essential features I was comfortable with, but to me, they don’t look like me. Aislinn has lighter brown hair than me, significantly. Nadine’s is darker and when she hasn’t had a moment, I picture her with long long, straight hair that is always brushed back and out of the way of her face.
Which begs the question again… Crazy or Imaginative?
Which also makes me wonder if I am unbiased enough to think someone in my family is crazy… Hopefully, I don’t have to find out first hand. But you never know. Part of the reason I have never taken more than 1mg of my Clonazepam at a time is because I know it will silence those voices. Breaking up the dosage turns me into a bit of a zombie and also silences those voices. So maybe I’m both crazy and imaginative?