A Celebrity’s Charity Case

So good news for the author that wanted a vacation using GoFundMe.  A celebrity read her book and liked it so much they gave the writer all the money they asked for plus extra for the vacation.

I love all my readers, but when I got the private message about her windfall, I must admit, I had a pang of jealousy, which is fairly out of character for me.

Netflix told me my books had potential, but that they weren’t really what they were looking for.  And getting any further with it would require me to sign over more rights to future books and write on their deadlines and do scripts and things and well, I’m not a script writer.  Ah well, obviously not to be.  Not because I don’t want to put in the work but because I got the impression that they were interested in the sense that it sounded promising but they were sure it would be an abject failure.  However, if I could find a celebrity to fall in love with my books, well I might have it made.

It would be awesome if Sascha Konietzko of KMFDM and his wife Lucia decided to narrate my audiobooks free of charge.  I would actually cry tears of joy.  I do love both of them and KMFDM has been one of my favorite bands for 2 decades, almost 3.  Plus, I love Germans.  Lucia could pull off Aislinn Cain’s narrative voice.  Sascha could do my male serial killers and characters.  Other band members could lead male voices as well, since it isn’t just Lucia and Sascha that make up KMFDM.  I’d even be okay with the German accent for all my male characters because I do love listening to Germans speak  in both English and German.

Hey, we might all make a little money and they have a sound studio in their house, so they could work on it from home.  Nothing sells books like a celebrity endorsement.  It doesn’t even have to be a famous writer.  A tweet from Clive Barker would melt my heart, but honestly, if Perez Hilton the fashion mogul liked my books, it would do a lot for book sales.  I’d be willing to sell half the audio rights for a celebrity to do the audiobooks.  Mostly because I think they would sell better than anything I have available at the moment and I get asked about audiobooks approximately five times a month.

Of course, the chances of my getting a celebrity benefactor are slim and none.  It’s a beautiful dream, but it has no chance of fruition.  I got lucky with the Tortured Dreams audiobook and I’m not going to get that lucky again.

However, if any of my readers have experience in a sound studio doing narration, I’d be willing to consider splitting the royalties of the audiobooks.  I’m too broke to actually pay you ahead of the production and sales though, which is a problem.  And we’ve calculated out the cost of producing Elysium Dreams into an audiobook at around 9,000 if I have to pay for it which is really far out of my price range right now and probably for a long time.  The bad part is, people like the Tortured Dreams audiobook as far as plot and story go, they just hate the narrator, which is a problem.

This leads me to believe that I need Amazon to be my benefactor or for a celebrity to love Aislinn Cain like I do and become my benefactor.  The chances of either are slim and none.  But that’s okay.  It was just a thought.  I don’t have expectations of it happening.

For me, it’s a pipe dream, but a lovely one.  And sometimes it’s good to have pipe dreams.




10 thoughts on “A Celebrity’s Charity Case

    1. I saw them live for the first time in the early 90’s. Then every time they would play near me and by near me, I mean within 3 hours of my hometown, I’d go. The times they have come to my hometown they have always done meet and greets which is why I know I get star struck and can’t handle meeting them. I did take my nephews up to meet them, or should I say Lucia. He had a pretty large crush on her when he was about 14 or so.

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      1. Ha ha ha!! You nephew has good taste! They don’t come around my area too often sadly. So, I don’t get to see them much. But, the first time they came around here and I actually got to see them live and meet them would have been… Probably, the late 90s and it was amazing. Super intimate setting since the whole show was pretty much me and my friends. Lol! My friend put them up in the worst motel ever and they were still really cool about it. One of my friends at the time who mixed his own music even opened for them. It was really great.

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      2. They used to come through my hometown every couple of years or Lawrence, Kansas – about 2 1/2 hours from us pretty regularly. In my hometown they would set up all day at an indie record shop and sign autographs and talk to fans. It was amazing, which is where I learned I could lurk with the best of them. The venue they played out in our town was an idie club that used to be an old vaudville theatre and they would come out before the show and hang out at the tables, which is where my nephew got to meet the girl of his dreams and my other nephew realized that he really did want to rock a mohawk, which he did for several months – he had the face for it as it turned out. The fact that they were so amazing about talking to a 14 year old and 12 year old while they were chilling before the show made me forever grateful to them for being amazing. How many rock stars do that?!


      3. So very true!! I’m from Canada, so now the closest place I see them in Toronto when they’re around. When I saw them before though, they came to a little bar in Thorold called the Moose and Goose. It doesn’t exist anymore, but, it used to get some good bands.. But, it was pretty small.. I honestly don’t think they knew what they were getting themselves into, but they were such good sports about it! And I have definitely lurked with the best of them at some band appearances as well, so I understand completely! Ha ha!

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