Never Do Anything Half Way

I was taught that if I was going to do something, I needed to give it my all.  That’s why I’m so hard on myself as a writer.  This is what I do for a living and I need to do it to the best of my ability, never compromise and just release something to release it.  I have to believe in it… except the first book of every series I have ever released, most of which I hate.

At the moment, I can’t give writing my all.  I’m easily distracted.  I have trouble staying focused.  It’s like the creative centers of my brain are being blocked by pain.  It’s why I’m taking some time off from writing.

In the meantime, I am working on other things.  One author has asked me to go through her book and check it for some historical accuracy.  She’s giving me a bit of money to do it which is nice.  I thought about offering that service to other authors, but I’m not sure how much demand is there for it.

I’m also selling Scentsy.  It doesn’t require my creative side as much as writing.  My critical thinking skills don’t seem to be impacted by the pain or the medications.

I’m doing all of this because I know that the longer it takes me to release a new book, the less money I’m going to make on book sales.  That’s how the world works.  Unless I am spending four or five hundred a month on advertising, I will see a decrease in sales around January.

Now, the universe might align between now and then allowing the creative part of my brain to start functioning again.  I don’t know.  But I want to be prepared in case it takes longer than three or four months for that to happen.  I do know that without other sources of income, I will end up needing a cardboard sign and a comfy camping chair to survive.

I haven’t abandoned my readers, I think of you daily.  I also think of the book I need to be writing daily.  It stresses me out that I stare at the page and wonder what the hell I’m supposed to be doing.  I’ve even stopped telling myself bedtime stories, something I’ve been doing all my life… it’s where Aislinn Cain and her merry band of misfits came from.

As you wait for Demonic Dreams to be finished, realize that the reason it is still not there is because I know I can’t make it what it should be.  It should be terrifying and fast paced, like Fortified Dreams, but so far the scariest part is a moose.  I’m also fairly certain that the ending is currently written into chapter 3 of the book, which sorta sucks. Raphael, Aislinn, and Gabriel deserve better than what I have given them so far. At some point, most of it will be deleted (the moose will stay, he lends something to Aislinn’s character).

5 thoughts on “Never Do Anything Half Way

  1. Hi Hadena
    I’m sorry to hear that your mojo is currently not playing fair – that sucks but I understand your reluctance to continue writing when you’re not happy with the results. I can also understand how the pain can kerb your creativity. I wish you nothing but the best in your new (but hopefully temporary) ventures and hope to add Demonic Dreams to my HJ collection at some point in the future.

    Faithfully, Fae xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am so sorry to read that your muse has been temporarily silenced: you have proven to be an amazingly talented writer and I am so looking forward to reading Demonic Dreams. Ideally you will find medical relief or an alternative solution to subjugate your pain. I remain your loyyal reader

    Liked by 1 person

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